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Dating Challenges Are Because Of The Decisions We MakeWhen I immigrated at the age of 12, I had few dating challenges. The natural player in me was well at play. Even though the last year before I immigrated girls were just becoming interesting, I was still too young to appreciate them. Even so, I had started to build up quite a following. Charlotte, my first girl friend had been contacting my mother for two years to find out about me. I only found out about this the evening I immigrated when my mother confessed this to me. In hindsight, I was so naive. Charlotte had taken up judo just so that she could turn up at the same events as me. If only I had known!!! My best friends sister has started to send me love notes. I had won the heart (for a few hours one evening) of the ‘it girl’. Her name was Kim, and everyone wanted her. But she played with me exclusively one evening a few weeks before I immigrated. It was also the last time I ever saw her. Life Has A Way Of Providing ChallengesBut life has a way of giving us challenges. Immigrating was one of the biggest challenges in my life. In South Africa, being shy and introverted worked for me. I had a presence that attracted friends.But not so when I arrived in Australia. The first few years in Australia were instrumental towards the development of my social skills, or lack of them. I found myself in a new environment where I was outside of my comfort zone. I didn’t know how to handle this. I tried different things to make friends. But I was not being myself. As a result the first few attempts to making friends failed miserably. At first, the friends I made were because I was the new boy with a funny accent. I was even more of a novelty because I was half the size of the other boys and because I was a judo expert the tallest boys were intrigued as to how I could throw them on the ground. I spent every lunch break fighting the tallest boys. The Decisions We Make Creates Our Dating ChallengesOne day I overheard one of my friends criticizing me to another boy. I was devastated and the decision I made was to go into my shell. I made the decision that I would never again show anyone my personality. As a result, I became even more introverted. I used to hate going to school because I had no one to play with. I would spend the holidays riding my bicycle because I had no friends.I was also at that age that just seeing a girl would send my penis into orbit. I had the desire to meet girls, I just had no way of meeting them. I had no friends and I went to an all boy’s school. Developing the skill set and ability to interact with girls was nonexistent. These were dark years. I became a total loner. The decisions I had made were already hurting the development of my social skills. Eventually I did manage to make a friend. But the years of being a total loner dramatically suffocated crucial years to the development of my social skills. The lack of development of my social skills was going to compound when it came time to start chasing women. Not because I lacked the ability to meet and seduce them but because of the decisions I made that stopped me from meeting them. I had created dating challenges that would take decades to work through.  Custom Search Go back to top of dating challenges page, the teenage years Go to About Me page Go to Home Page |
