Two Dating Decisions That Suppressed The Natural Player In Me

My First Approach

But, rather than seeing the success for what it was, I become fixated on the reaction of my friend when I approached the group of girls. He hit me over the head and belittled me.

In the table below you can see what my interpretation was and what it should have been.

It is always easy in hindsight to see the errors of our ways, but at the time we are only doing what be best know how to survive. My interpretation of the whole approach had other influences of previous decisions that had built my character at that time.

Those decisions were decisions that were made as a teenager. Having found it hard to adjust as a teenager, when I did finally make a few friends I gave them too much of my personal power.

Even although I took a leadership position when making my first approach, I never regarded myself as the leader. I should have because it was my idea to go away with my best friend. He invited two other friends. It was one of these invited friends who hit me over the head.

I should have been the leader, however my best friend took that role by inviting two others along. When one of these invited friends in hit me over the head, it was his way of asserting his spot in the leadership hierarchy. I conceded to this hierarchy, which I never should have.

Because of my lack of confidence I assumed he had better experiences and knew more. It didn’t occur to me that he was even more insecure then I was.

Lesson to learn, never assume anything!!!!

The irony is that of the group of four, only my best friend and I were invited to the girls school dance. The girls were not impressed by the other guy. But again, I missed this.

Choose Your Friends Wiesly: Dating Decisions That Allowed My Friend To Suffocate My Natural Player

At the same dance I met my first girlfriend, my best friend also met a girl. She was friends with my girlfriend and through this channel she passed on her interest in my friend.

She was just as cute as my girlfriend and I was stunned when my friend called her an ugly dog.

What I did was to misinterpret this and take what he said on face value. When evidence to the contrary presented itself I didn’t recognize this. Now that I am a bit older and wiser I can diagnose the situation for what it really was.

Over one holiday period, when going to a theme park, my girlfriend and I invited our friends along so they could meet each other again. I knew this girl liked my friend, my friend knew she liked him. His verbal message was that she was an ugly dog.

But communication is only 7% verbal. Psysology is 55%. The real message is always expressed some how. In my friend, the message was expressed by him literally shitting in his pants. He was so scared of women he shat in his pants.

By Not Understaning My Friends Insecurities, I Took Ownership Of Them

So my interpretation and the resultant dating decisions was that I had to get better looking girls. I couldn’t be seen with lesser then 10. The reality was that my first girlfriend was more the girl next door than supermodel. I found her attractive and sexy. But because of my friends insecurity, any other girl I dated needed to be a 10.

I had now all but killed of my natural god given ability to meet women.

As you take on more and more of these negative influences your ability to pick up women becomes much harder. Fear sets in and then you start to look for excuses as to why you are so bad with women.

Don't Get Down On Yourself

It’s the same. When you look for something, your universe will answer you by providing the situations where you can learn and make decisions. We learn through trial and error.

Your universe will continue to provide you with the answers to the questions you ask it.