Representational Systems: Understanding Girls So You Can Communicate In Her Language

We all process information using representational systems. What I mean by this is that we receive data through our 5 senses (seeing, hearing, touching, tasting, and smelling) plus our internal dialog, we then translate this information into the way we see the world. This is our internal representation of reality.

Remember the times you met a girl for the first time and things just seemed to click into place. It was so easy to talk to her, kind of like you were on the same level. The chances are that you were talking to her in her representational system.

The Main Representational Systems To Understaning Girls

• Visual - (Pictures);
• Auditory - (Sounds);
• Kinesthetic - (Feeling);
• Auditory Digital - (Self talk)

The following behaviors are clues for detecting which is someone’s preferred representational system:

Visual Representational System- A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

This system represents the largest amount of data simultaneously and instantaneously compared with other systems.

Language:When she talks to you she will describe her experiences using visual language. For example; “I see what you mean” or “looks good to me.”

Traits:The image she projects is important to her. As such she will tend to be neat and organized.

She learns and memorizes by associating images with ideas. She usually has to see something to capture her attention or interest.

Auditory Representational System- Into Sounds

You can tell that she is auditory because of her interest in sounds and resonance.

Physiology: Her physiology is that she will breathe in the mid range of their chest, her eyes move from side to side as they she is aware of noise and sounds. She is more sequential in nature. It takes her more time to process information. She often talks to herself.

Language: When she talks to you she will describe her experiences using auditory language. For example; “I hear what you are saying” or “sounds good to me.”

Traits: She is interested in her voice because this is how it sounds. She will like music and talking on the phone. She is easily distracted by noise.

She likes to be told how she’s doing on a job and feel loved by hearing a certain tone of voice or words.

She will learn and memorize by hearing information sequentially.

This representational system can lend emphasis or contrast to visual images, much like a sound track does to a film.

Kinesthetic Representational System – She Is Into Her Feelings

Her experiences last even after the visual and auditory experience have gone.

Physiology: You can tell a kinesthetic girl through her physiology. She will breathe from the bottom of her lungs so her stomach visibly moves up and down. She moves a bit slower and speaks a bit slower. She needs to get in touch with things. Heavier people tend to be kinesthetic.

Language: When she talks to you she will describe her experiences using kinesthetic language. For example; “I get a sense of things” or “it feels right to me.”

Traits: She will respond to touch and physical rewards. For her to be interested, something has to feel right.

She learns and memorizes by doing something.

Auditory Digital Representational System- Listens To Self Talk

Its a secondary interpretation of information; what she will say to herself about events and their meaning.

Physiology: She is removed, experiences the world from the secondary experience of internal dialog.

Language: When she talks to you she will describe her experiences after making decisions using a list of criteria. For example; “According to” or “On second thought.”

Traits: She summarizes and categorizes experiences; uses words to delineate and make sense of things. She will made decisions using a list of criteria.

She learns and memorizes when something makes sense to her.

Break Up Of Representational Systems

Some experiences lend themselves to better to certain Representational Systems. For example, experiencing a piece of music would mostly be Auditory. However she might simultaneously see vivid pictures, while others might feel the mood of the piece.

Understanding girls operate in all of the representational systems, but she will tend to process and rely predominantly on one system over the others – this is her preferred representational system. Within her preferred representational system, her behavior is fairly typical.

Everyone has a preferred (primary) way they represent themselves, communicate with other people and take in information. When you know which one she operates from, by matching your representational system to hers, the communication will flow easier and deeper.

She will have a preferred representational system as well as a lead representational system.

Lead Representational System

For example, assume her preferred representational system is visual and her lead representational system is kinesthetic. If you ask her about her holiday, she may first get in touch with all of the good feelings about her vacation before fully bringing up the pictures in her mind.

Next time you meet a girl at the bar and she responds to you with, I hear what you mean, then you know her representation system is auditory. During the communication you can throw in auditory language. If you get stuck on what to say, then direct the conversation to music.